Title: Most Guys Don’t
Summary: Idek. Kurt hates showering in communal shower rooms, so he usually makes sure he’s alone. One night, Sebastian interrupts him. Really there’s no plot.
Warnings: boypussy!Sebastian. snark. Seks.
A/N: Wow sorry this header is stupidly long. But Christine and I thought there wasnt enough non-Kurt bp fic out there, so, yeah. Also Christine is awesome and beta’d this thing for me! :D
Kurt was still having trouble getting used to his every shower taking place in a communal shower room. As a consequence, he was showering either very late at night or in the early morning. He knew it didn’t matter here at Dalton—no one would think he was looking at them and act weird (okay, fine, fine he might have surreptitiously side-eyed a few of the upperclassmen because damn), no one would be weird about him being gay.
Still. He felt weird being naked around other people, and part of him didn’t like the fact that his favorite jerk-off spot was now a public place. These days he only got to masturbate if his roommate, Jeff, was out doing other things, or if it was 1am on Friday night and everyone else was most certainly not thinking about showering. Scanning the showers to make sure that no one was here, Kurt uncovered himself and hung the towel over the ridiculously low wall of his shower “stall” and stood under the hot spray. He went through his shower routine pretty quickly and then, making sure that he was alone, closed his eyes, braced a hand on the wall and wrapped the other around his half hard cock, stroking himself gently. Thoughts of a boy on his knees, just for Kurt, hungry for his cock made his hand move faster and forced a low groan out of his mouth that echoed in the steamy room, bouncing off the tiles and sounding outrageously loud.
“Oh, this is just too good,” a voice said from not too far away. “Kurt fucking Hummel, jerking off in the shower where anyone could walk in.”
A choked whimper escaped from Kurt’s lips and he turned away from the sound, his back to the stranger. “Go away. Isn’t this breaking every rule of guy code ever?”
“What, speaking to a guy while he’s jerking off in the shower? Probably.”
Kurt groaned as he realized who had interrupted him. Of course, of all the people to shower randomly at the middle of the night on the one night Kurt knew he could get away with this would be fucking Sebastian. “Go away Sebastian.”
“Why? So you can finish?” Sebastian laughed.
“No, because I’m naked! The thought of you totally killed my boner.”
From the sound of it, it seemed like Sebastian was coming towards him. Kurt whipped around, forgetting that he was naked. “What are you doing?” he demanded.
Sebastian didn’t seem put off by Kurt’s defensive demeanor. He was grinning, and his eyes raked over Kurt’s body. “Nice, Hummel. And looks like you were lying about that boner. You want some help with that?”
Kurt suddenly became aware of his nudity and backed against the corner bringing his hands down to cover himself.
“Awww, I was really enjoying the view.”
Kurt’s eyes flitted over Sebastian’s muscular chest, his toned arms and admitted that he too, could appreciate the view in spite of the fact that he was mortified and confused in addition to still being aroused from his fantasy of a boy on his knees. Come to think of it, Sebastian would look fantastic—No. No no no. He was so not going there.
“Well if you’re going to be an ass, you could at least be a fair ass,” Kurt said, feeling more confident than he felt by miles.
Sebastian tilted his head. “Oh, and what exactly would you have me do?”
Kurt bit his lip, staring at the line where Sebastian’s towel hung dangerously low on his torso. “You’re still wearing a towel.”
Sebastian stiffened slightly, then lapsed back into the cock grin he’d been wearing. “I’m pretty sure you couldn’t handle what I’ve got going on under this towel, Hummel.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t look like there’s much going on,” he sneered, raking his eyes over obvious non-bulge underneath Sebastian’s towel.
“Oh, there’s a lot more going on than you think. Promise you won’t freak out? Some people do.”
Kurt could promise no such thing, but his curiosity was definitely piqued. “Promise.”
“Somehow I don’t believe you. But I’m a risk taker, so…here goes.” He slowly unwrapped his towel, revealing gorgeous thighs and when Kurt’s eyes dared to look at Sebastian’s cock, he was stunned to realize that Sebastian didn’t have a cock. His eyes flew up to Sebastian’s eyes, which were watching him carefully.
“Uh,” Kurt laughed a little out of awkwardness. “You, uhm, have a,” Kurt struggled. What was the right word to use? He knew from an awkward conversation with Tina, Santana and Rachel that different girls—people—were okay with different terms. “A, uhm, is that, uh, a vagina?” He winced, knowing he sounded stupid as he whispered the words. Vagina, they had agreed, was totally not as sexy as other terms, but it was almost unilaterally inoffensive.
Sebastian, who had seemed a little concerned beforehand laughed loudly. “Well, you’re not freaking out; that’s usually a sign of good things to come.”
Kurt’s mouth went dry. “Wh—what do you mean?”
Sebastian grinned and stepped back out of Kurt’s personal space. “Why don’t you come back to my room with me when we’re done and find out? No pressure, but I promise you, if you come you won’t regret it.”
Kurt had never finished a shower faster in his life. By the time he was finished hastily rubbing lotion into his skin and packing up his shower kit, Sebastian was already toweling off and shrugging on his dark blue standard-issue robe.
“God you take forever,” Sebastian complained as Kurt carefully slid into his robe, tying the belt perfectly.
“Some of us take care of our bodies—there’s nothing wrong with that,” Kurt said, his voice shaky. All he could think about was what might be about to happen.
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You know where my room is, right? If you’re not there in 20 minutes I’ll assume you’ve decided to spend the rest of the night painting your toenails or whatever girly boys like you do on Friday night.”
Kurt gaped at him. Sebastian was calling him a girly boy when he was the one with the pussy? Really? “That’s quite a statement,” he shot back.
“Hey,” Sebastian said shortly, “Just because I don’t have a dick swinging between my legs doesn’t mean I’m not a guy.”
“I know, I just—it was kind of funny, if you think about it? Anyway, I—I’ll come.”
The old snarky Sebastian was back at the surface. “Oh, I know you will.”
“Sebastian!” Kurt squealed, cheeks turning red with embarrassment. “I meant to your room!”
“I know what you meant—doesn’t make what I said any less true. So I’ll see you there after you finish putting your exfoliator or whatever next to your tampons and make-up?”
“I’m just going to put some pajamas on, you ass!”
“What’s the point? It’s not like you’re going to be wearing them very long.”
Kurt blushed. Having nothing to say, he picked up his shower caddy and exited the shower room as quickly as possible, eager for a moment to distance himself from Sebastian and his smirky meerkat face for a moment. Excitement swirled in his chest as he entered his empty room, threw on his favorite pair of underwear (a dark blue that he secretly thought looked quite nice against his skin), green silk pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt from the shop. He slid his feet into the slippers Finn (aka either Rachel or Carole) had gotten for him last Christmas, took a deep breath and stepped out of his room, quietly closing the door. He padded quickly down the hallway, knowing he’d lose his nerve if he thought about it too hard, and before he knew it, he was staring at the door of Sebastian’s single room (money really did get you everything).
He took in another deep, calming breath and brought his hand up to knock, then stopped. What was he doing? True, he was still breathlessly excited at the prospect of whatever this was, still aroused from earlier, and so intrigued it hurt, but he had no idea what he was doing! What if he did something wrong or messed something up? Surely Sebastian had been with a lot of people (if the rumors were to be believed) and Kurt had impossible standards to live up to! Shit, he was thinking too hard, he—
The door swung open, to reveal Sebastian, looking delicious in pair of dark green and blue plaid pajama bottoms, his chest gloriously tan and bare for Kurt’s eyes to take in.
“Were you ever planning on knocking?” Sebastian asked teasingly, stepping inside to let Kurt in.
Kurt stepped in hesitantly. “Uhm, yeah, I was just working up my nerve.”
“What’s there to be nervous about? You get to try something new, everyone gets off, it’s a good time. Trust me.”
“Yeah, uhm, well, it’s—it’s all new.”
Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up. “You and Blaine never—”
Kurt shook his head emphatically. “We didn’t get all that far. Just, uh, hands.”
“You mean to tell me you never got to shove that gorgeous cock down his throat?”
Kurt’s eyes flickered up sharply. “Do you have to be so crass?”
Sebastian nodded. “Yes, actually. It’s part of the charm.”
Kurt couldn’t deny that it was, so he just settled for moving on. No need to acknowledge Sebastian’s victory—his ego didn’t need boosting. “So how are we going to do this?”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a business exchange. But you could start by loosening the fuck up?”
Kurt groaned miserably. “Maybe, maybe I should just go, I’m screwing this up already, aren’t I?”
He turned, but was surprised to feel Sebastian’s hand, large and warm on his forearm. “Hey there, princess, calm your tits. It’s not like this is a graded assignment—I know what to do enough for both of us, and I promise I’ll be nice and shit, okay? We don’t even have to do anything if you don’t want to. It’s all about what you’re comfortable with.”
Kurt just stared. How could Sebastian manage to insult him and make him feel safe all in the same little speech? “Uhm, okay. Can we, uhm, stop with the name-calling? It doesn’t exactly make me feel sexy.”
“Just for tonight,” Sebastian agreed. “So if insults don’t do it for you, what does?”
Kurt blushed. “I don’t really know,” he said shyly, eyes fluttering down to where Sebastian was still touching him.
Sebastian let Kurt’s arm go and sat down on his bed. “I’m pretty good at finding out.”
Kurt took a hesitant step towards the bed. “Can we just take it slow and see where it goes?”
“We can go as slow as you want, babe,” Sebastian said softly. “You wanna come sit down?”
Kurt did so, crossing his legs and fiddling awkwardly with a loose thread on his pajama pants. He jumped when he felt Sebastian’s hand cover his. “I have an idea. How about you let me give you a massage and then you can ask all the questions you want.”
Sebastian moved to kneel behind Kurt, his hands resting lightly on Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt shuddered as he felt Sebastian’s breath hot against his ear, whispering “Is this alright?”
Kurt nodded, allowing himself to get lost in the feel of Sebastian’s hands working magic on his upper back.
“Kurt, you’re supposed to be asking questions, remember?” Sebastian reminded him gently.
“Oh right,” Kurt exhaled, unable to hide a little moan when Sebastian hit just the right spot.
“Yeah, feels good is all,” Kurt said quietly. “Anyway, I, uhm, so, how…why…you’re a guy, but you have a—er…”
Sebastian’s hands shook a little as he laughed. “You can call it whatever you want. Pussy, vagina, cunt, meat wallet, whatever floats your boat.”
Kurt couldn’t help himself, he laughed hard. “Meat…I can’t even repeat that. People don’t really—”
Sebastian’s grin was evident in his tone of voice. “You’d be surprised at the names people come up with for things. Anyway, to answer your poorly stated not really a question, I was born this way. Came out looking like a boy, they couldn’t really tell what I was as a baby, then I grew up and it turned out my ambiguous gentials were totally not going to turn into a penis.”
“Oh.” Kurt wasn’t sure what the proper response was in this situation. He wasn’t weirded out, just processing—he hoped Sebastian knew that.
Sebastian shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, it’s pretty simple. By that time I totally knew I was a guy, I’m just a guy who so happens to have a pussy. It’s really not that bad—I can’t have kids because I don’t have internal girl parts so I don’t have to deal with periods and shit which is awesome.”
Kurt snorted. “Yeah, you with PMS would be a fucking nightmare.”
“Please. I’d kick ass and take names and all would fear me.”
“Like I said,” Kurt teased. “A fucking nightmare.”
“Just be glad you don’t ever have to find out.”
Kurt sighed in agreement, his breath catching as Sebastian’s hands moved lower on his back, rubbing away the tension.
“Kurt, do you, um, want to lay down with me?”
“Okay,” Kurt mumbled, both amused and comforted by Sebastian’s nervousness. He scooted up the bed and rested his head on one of Sebastian’s outrageously soft and undoubtedly expensive pillows. “God, these pillows are fucking amazing.”
“Memory foam,” Sebastian said absent mindedly. “Can I touch you?”
Kurt nodded, and squealed in surprise when Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt and rolled them so that Kurt was under Sebastian’s hard, warm body.
Sebastian’s hands smoothed up the front of Kurt’s t-shirt and cradled his face, thumbs stroking with surprising gentleness against Kurt’s cheeks.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Sebastian whispered. “You know that, don’t you?”
Kurt’s cheeks flooded, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away from Sebastian when he was so close and Kurt was overwhelmed by how bright and green Sebastian’s eyes looked. “Uhm, thanks?”
“You really are, so goddamned gorgeous, “ Sebastian murmured, moving closer. “Can I kiss you?”
Instead of answering, Kurt nodded slightly and closed his eyes, waiting patiently. He gasped when he felt Sebastian’s lips against his chin and then his neck. “Tease,” Kurt mumbled.
Sebastian smiled against Kurt’s neck and peppered light kisses up to Kurt’s lips, pressing there lightly, softly, before Kurt couldn’t take it anymore and brought his hands to Sebastian’s face and deepened the kiss, pulling Sebastian as close as possible.
When they pulled away breathlessly some indeterminable length of time later, they were both panting, flushed and smiling a little. Kurt was acutely and suddenly aware of how hard he was and shifted unintentionally against Sebastian’s hip. He blushed and looked away.
“Fuck you’re so hard,” Sebastian stated quite obviously, smirking as he moved until he was straddling Kurt’s hips and brought himself down slowly and deliberately, his soft, hot mound grinding against Kurt’s erection through their pants. “I’d love to do this to you—undress you and sink down on your big cock—I bet you’d fill me up so fucking good.”
Kurt bit his lip to keep from whimpering—Sebastian looked incredible like that, with his hips rocking against Kurt’s so sensually. “Yes, oh fuck, yes, please.”
Sebastian’s teeth shone white as he grinned. “You want that sweetheart? You want me to fuck you, ride you into the mattress, make you cry out so loud everyone knows what you’re doing in here?”
“Fuck!” Kurt gasped. “Please.” His hips were bucking up into Sebastian’s with no real sense of rhythm, just need.
Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s hands and pinned them on either side of his head against the bed, starting to move his hips faster. “You’re so needy, so desperate for it. I bet I could make you come just like this.”
Kurt’s head lolled to the side as his body arched up over and over again in search of that familiar pleasure. “Oh god, yes, yes, yes.”
Then it all stopped.
Kurt’s eyes snapped open, almost filling with tears. “Please, please,” he begged.
“Shhh,” Sebastian soothed. “I’ll get you there. I just want to take our clothes off, okay?”
Kurt bit his lip and began tugging clumsily at his clothes, throwing them on the floor and baring himself naked before Sebastian’s hungry gaze.
“Fuck,” he heard Sebastian say as he slid down Kurt’s body. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, so fucking hot and needy for it, God, look at you.”
Kurt just whimpered desperately. “Seb, please, I need to come, please, please,” he chanted, sighing in relief when Sebastian’s hand grabbed his cock, stroking smooth and sure over its length.
“Can’t wait to have this inside of me, you’re so fucking big,” Sebastian moved down, his mouth dangerously close to Kurt’s cock. He looked up, making sure Kurt was looking at him before he murmured, “Can’t wait to taste your come.”
Kurt thought he was going to explode as he realized he was probably about to get his first blowjob. “Oh shit, are, are you really going to—oh,” he moaned as Sebastian held his gaze while sinking his mouth over the head of Kurt’s cock and sucking gently.
Kurt started to tremble—Sebastian felt incredible, so good and hot and wet and perfect and oh FUCK he was going to come, so hard, so fucking hard.
“Sebastian!” he gasped, a little too loudly. “I’m gonna, fuck, I’m, I’m,” he gasped, trying to get the words out, but Sebastian just stayed put, sucking harder and deeper, moaning and swallowing greedily around Kurt’s cock as he came mindblowingly hard, body writhing uncontrollably.
Kurt’s eyes fluttered open once he felt recovered and then he felt the breath rush out of his lungs at the sight that greeted him. Sebastian was straddling his stomach, one hand tweaking his nipple while the other rubbed tight, hard circles on his clit. “Oh fuck,” Kurt groaned. “God, you look, you look,” Kurt couldn’t find the right words yet again, but Sebastian seemed to understand what he was saying well enough.
“Like what you see, sweetheart?”
Kurt bit his lip and nodded. From what he could see, Sebastian was so pink and glistening with wetness, and it sounded like Sebastian was making himself feel really good with the way he was touching himself.
“Can I,” Kurt whispered, looking up at Sebastian hopefully.
“God yeah,” Sebastian whimpered. “You can do anything you want, whatever you want—I promise you can’t mess it up, okay?”
Kurt nodded and sat up as much as he could with Sebastian hovering over his hips. “Can you, uhm, lay down? And, uhm, make room for me?” he said awkwardly.
Sebastian complied eagerly. “You could have just told me to get on my back and spread my legs. I take direction pretty well,” Sebastian teased, smiling at the blush on Kurt’s face. “Only you could blush while you’re looking at my pussy like you want to devour it.”
“Sorry,” Kurt muttered, settling down on his stomach between Sebastian’s legs and trailing his fingertips up Sebastian’s thighs.
“Don’t be,” Sebastian breathed. “I think it’s hot.”
Kurt smiled and slid his fingers between the soft, smooth folds of Sebastian’s pussy. “Oh,” he breathed. “You’re so warm and wet, and oh.”
“Mhm,” Sebastian agreed, wiggling his hips. “More, please.”
Feeling braver, knowing that he must be doing something right to make Sebastian sound like that, Kurt slid his fingers lower, down until he felt Sebastian’s opening.
“Oh, yes, Kurt, please, put your fingers in me, fuck me.”
Kurt bit his lip to keep from moaning and slid the tip of just one finger inside. Sebastian’s body clamped down on him with a surprising about of pressure, the slick heat welcoming inside, begging him to stay and drawing his finger in further. Kurt couldn’t help but instantly think of how good it would feel to have his cock buried deep in that clenching slick heat.
“Mmm,” Sebastian all but purred, spreading his legs wider. “That’s a good boy. Now more, you can put as many in as you like, I promise I’ll tell you if it hurts.”
A thrill shocked through Kurt’s veins as the words “good boy” rolled over his skin, cradling him and making him feel perfect, wanted, and oddly enough, safe. Kurt added another finger, moving them in and out slowly. “Is this enough?”
“It’s good, but more, faster.”
Kurt obeyed, reveling in the deliciously dirty squelching sounds as Sebastian got wetter and wetter by the second. His whole hand was starting to get drenched in the fluid, god, there was so much, making everything shiny and it smelled fantastic. He bet—God, Kurt could just tell that it would taste good, too. He bent his head down, the flickered his eyes up to Sebastian’s face, twisted in sweet ecstasy. “Seb,” he said softly, trying to get the other boys attention.
Hazy green eyes flickered open. “Yeah babe?”
Kurt took a deep breath, licking his lips. “Can I, god, can I…lick you?” he managed to stammer out.
Sebastian groaned and fell back hard against the pillows. “Oh fuck. Yes.”
Emboldened by the enthusiastic response, Kurt leaned in and licked carefully between Sebastian’s folds, up and down, his tongue wide and flat as he continued to slide his fingers in and out of Sebastian’s hole.
“More fingers,” Sebastian grunted, drawing his knees up to plant his feet flat on the bed and push his body down even further on Kurt’s long fingers.
“Who’s desperate now?” Kurt teased in between long laps at Sebastian’s clit.
Sebastian declined to answer, only tangled his fingers desperately in Kurt’s hair and tried to pull him closer. Kurt moaned at the slight tugging sensation and pressed in closer, finally getting the nerve to add another finger at the same time he closed his lips around the hard nub of Sebastian’s clit and began to suck at it gently. The effect on Sebastian was instantaneous—he arched up and let out a sound that sent shockwaves of arousal through Kurt’s body. He moaned into Sebastian’s pussy, only amplifying the effect he was having and it didn’t take long before Sebastian was clamping down on his fingers and writhing wildly beneath him. Kurt grabbed Sebastian’s hip tightly, trying uselessly to keep Sebastian from moving so much so that Kurt could get at him, lick him through the orgasm.
All too soon, Sebastian was whimpering and closing his knees around Kurt’s shoulders. “Give me a minute,” he rasped out, clearly over sensitized from his orgasm and the way that Kurt was still licking at him enthusiastically.
With one last swipe along Sebastian’s cunt, Kurt pulled away, licking his lips and fingers eagerly.
“Jesus,” Sebastian panted. “That was fucking amazing.”
“Mhm,” Kurt agreed, eyes glowing. “It was really hot. And you…taste really good,” he confessed, blushing furiously.
“Oh?” Sebastian murmured. “I”m glad I could please.”
“Shouldn’t I be saying that?” Kurt teased.
“Well, maybe. You were awesome, really. Most guys don’t take the time to do that.”
“What? Really?” Kurt looked at Sebastian curiously, trying to decipher the odd look in his eyes.
Sebastian nodded, turning to Kurt and holding his arms out. “Yeah. But apparently you aren’t like most guys.”
Kurt smiled, hardly able to believe that he was cuddling with Sebastian Smythe. “Imagine that—Kurt Hummel, not like most guys. Maybe I’ll get a t-shirt or something with that on it.”
“Oh please,” Sebastian scoffed. “As if you’d wear a t-shirt.”
Kurt hummed in agreement. “They aren’t really my style.”
“I’d disagree,” Sebastian said. “The one you had on when you came over;I didn’t mind the way it looked on you at all.”
Kurt just smiled. “Thanks. I only wear t-shirts to bed or to work in the shop.”
“The shop?” Sebastian questioned.
“My dad’s a mechanic. So, you know, I know my way around a car.”
“Yeah, I work there over the summers and some weekends when i want to make some extra money.”
“You, all sweaty, and hot and dirty…” Sebastian’s voice trailed off, and he surprised Kurt by rolling on top of him, straddling Kurt’s stomach. “That is so hot.”
Kurt just laughed. “I like to think it’s more gross, but…whatever gets you off.”
“Oh it definitely does it for me. So…you ready for round two?” Sebastian asked, barely waiting for Kurt’s to groan out an overly enthusiastic “yes” before reaching over for the condoms in his bedside table drawer.